I sent out an email setting out 'four steps to happy' to my Happiness Insiders' this week and shared a story over on Insta on the same topic....and it's such a biggie I wanted to pop it here for you to read- so here it is, in all it's glory for you to enjoy!Read More
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You might know that I've got two young children (my daughter's seven/seventeen 😘 and my son's five.) I've also worked with hundreds of parents and families across the years so have gained a lot of insight into parenting...
And one thing I know for sure is that children are like a kind of magnifying mirror for any kind of stress or tension you feel....
Happy Sunday peeps! Hope you manage to sneak in some down time today....even if it's only a little bit of time to re-set 😍.
So, here's the last of my stories and it's another powerful one 👊. My clients tell me all-the-time how they'd find it so much easier to be happy if only their co-workers were nicer, the kids calmer, husbands more jolly and so on....
And of course, I get it, I live with the same challenges. BUT I know you just can't live focused in this way and experience true joy and freedom...and this version of an ancient tale helps highlight the point:
"One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. “You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.”
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger.
If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you."
Makes sense right?! Good on ya Buddha! 😇 Now I know, 'I'm not Buddha' you're maybe saying....and hey, look- me neither!! But we can lean into this at least, we can perceive the wisdom in it and allow us to remind us of what we already know- names can only hurt you if you let them!
Wishing you well,
Hey guys- here's today's happiness reminder 😍 in the form of a story.....I've been telling this tale for over ten years now (not non-stop of course 🤣) and I'm still not bored! It's SO simple and yet SO powerful. And again SUPER relevant for all us of in today's day and age of seeking happiness outside of us...Who else wants to quit the race to nowhere and banish destination addiction?!
So, here it is....would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it:
" Once upon a time there was a village so remote that they very rarely saw any strangers. And one day, way before any of the villagers could remember, a stranger had come to the village….upon leaving he gave the villagers a gift to thank them for their hospitality in letting him stay. And he told them that as long as they kept this gift-picture-then everything would go well for them.
The villagers were trusting and they trusted that this was indeed true….many years later another visitor came to the village and he too was invited to stay. In fact he was invited to stay in the room where the precious painting was kept. But much to the villagers despair, when they awoke the in the morning they found that the stranger had left, and he’d taken the painting with him. When they discovered this they were desperately sad, they lost all hope for their future. They looked at the sky and it had turned dark, their trees no longer seemed to bloom, the birds weren't in flight….and it wasn’t until one of the young girls of the village took it upon herself to paint a new painting on the wall that the other villagers decided to join her, and before long they were so happy and engrossed in their endeavour, painting the most beautiful painting of birds, trees, blue sky and rainbows that they suddenly realised that their reality had once again begun to reflect their new painting….the sky was once again blue, beautiful birds were in flight, the sun was shining and the flowers were back in bloom……"
Tell me your lightbulb 💡 moments and l'll share mine I promise!
Wishing you well,
OK - I gotta tell you, the last of my #oldiesbutgoodies might just be my absolute favourite! This one is SO steeped in wisdom which I think is likely missed for so many of us....
So, I'll go out on a high for Mother's Day (in the UK anyway.)
Here it is: the joy is in the JOURNEY! Yeah, we've all heard it and said it but how much of it do you actually take in?! Think about it, what this pearl of wisdom is reminding us of is to quit the race to nowhere, that pesky old destination addiction! Those moments of getting where you want to be, achieving what you want, holding the prize in your hand, standing on the podium are FLEETING- oh so fleeting! BUT the journey, that's way a bigger part of your life and truly where the JOY's to be found.
But we're missing it, always focused on the next thing! And more fool us! I sense that the bubble is beginning to pop for so many of us and I'm here to help burst it! And to allow the joy that it's been smothering to erupt!!!
Maybe ask yourself this more often 'if the joy's in the journey, just what might it be and how can l experience it RIGHT NOW?!'
Happy Mother's Day one and all,
Good morning! So, this week I'll be hitting you (don't worry, it's only a metaphor, I'm not mean again- promise 😍) with some of my favourite stories, metaphors and fables to help keep you (or get you) happier. And to remind you of what your inner wisdom already knows!
And I'm kicking things off (sorry - another violent metaphor 😬👊) with a favourite of mine...it's an old Aesop's fable that some of you might recognise and although it's ancient, it's super relevant today!!
The point of it being- if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one (you included!) And I think you can also apply this to our attempts we often today to 'have it all' so in other words 'when you try to do/have it all, you end up feeling crappy!!'
Anyway- here it is! Hope you find it helpful! And whether you chose to walk alongside your donkey, on its back or carry it-DO IT FOR YOU, and MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR DECISION 💋.
"A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?”
So the man put the boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?”
The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them:
“Please all, and you will please none.”
Have a great day all! And if you have any lightbulb 💡 moments when you read this please, please share- I live for those moments ❤.
If you know me, you'll probably know that l'm OBSESSED with all things self-development and because of my crappy formative years, l made the decision some time back that happiness is key for me!
And people often say to me things like 'so, are you just happy now?!' to which l always respond with words to the effect of No, 'it's something l purposefully focus on every day'. Because it is! You can't just go to the gym for two weeks in your twenties and then be fit for life (might be nice though right?!) You've gotta go, then go again, then like hit repeat for the rest of your days!!!! And it's the same with happiness, feeling fulfilled and all that.Read More
Over the years I've picked up a whole bunch of tools, tips and questions that I use in my therapy sessions and having so many options really helps me to deal with all sorts of challenging situations.
There are a handful of such questions that l use time and again, not only with clients but in my own life too. And I'm going to share them with you here in the hope that you too will find them useful (which l defy you not too!!!)Read More
l am so pleased to be writing this on my brand new website, it is super pleasing to me to have a cyber home that l am proud of :-) Thank you so very much Lidia from Visuable for creating this for me!
This blog post is my original 'about me' page l created for the website, but it was too long winded- whoops! So, waste not, want not l am using it as a blog post. As l write this l feel such appreciation for the fact that l have been able to turn all of my 'crap' into so much positivity.Read More
So there’s something l have been pondering a lot lately. And it’s the notion of ‘heart versus head’, or you could say ‘mind versus body’, ‘ego versus consciousness’ and so on….there are a number of different takes on the idea.Read More
Today there is a part of me that wants to flee the country. There is a part of me that is angry at those who l perceive as being unkind, and a part of me feels sad. There is also a part of me that feels unsettled and as though my future is in the hands of others. I also felt, in part, that fear had won over love, for a moment.Read More
When l work with children l will often ask them how they would feel about going to school if they were to think about all the things they don’t like about school and all of the things that might go wrong there. And l then ask them how they might feel about going to school if they were to focus upon the bits of it they like, the fact that they will see their friends and so on?Read More
l’ll give you a clue to the answer here, and it’s one word: focus. Think about it, when you are saying ‘hello’ to something or someone wanted, it might be a new job, a holiday destination or someone you love, then as a rule you are focused in a positive way upon it or them and what you expect to enjoy.Read More